Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
Another f*ing night of vodka youporn and xanax. I need to get a goddamn life
3 great things that go great together... But not on a Friday night. Perfect on say... a Tuesday.
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
he calls his bong barack obonga, commander in kief. i found where i belong.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
