Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize