Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Randomize
