Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
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