3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
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