In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
