she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
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