Non-Jews are for practice
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
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