Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
