we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
