Fuck U Mike is a golden god.
Mike give steph back her phone.
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
