It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
i wish there were pregnant emoticons
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
well, the drug dealer I've been fucking the past 5 months gave me a chilis gift card for Christmas, so things are looking up.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Randomize
