i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
