Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I just spiked the applesauce. Try to tell me again your party is better.
I was surprised he admitted he couldnt keep up. We both knew but usually they dont come out and say it
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
God, I missed his penis.
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
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