Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
She said her name was "party"
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
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I just got wrote up for "repeatedly smelling like alcohol"
That was long passed due.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
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You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
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