honey bunches of taint.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
Just invented taco cereal.
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I called you a cum goblin in my voicemail. I stand by it.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Did you pee in the oven last night??
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
