In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The woman at walgreens tried to sell me clearance condoms with my fake eyelashes. Does it look like I get laid?
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
I have tasted many bathrooms
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
