I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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