So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
Randomize
