Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
I masturbated on the webcams with my bf yesterday then typed without washing my hands first... then my roommate used my laptop it was pretty priceless
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He called his prostate his "boner button".
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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