If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Maybe I'm a robot.
You can't be that drunk already
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
Until she magically finds a brain, I'm going to be a dick. Fair trade. She's a idiot, I'm an ass.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
Randomize
