i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
im sitting at a bagel shop wearing a princess crown hungover and have a sweater that is not mine.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
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