Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
I feel like satan and death had a baby that took a shit that replaced my brain.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
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