is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
So it looks like you may be an uncle real soon. Don't ask how I feel about it and don't text me back.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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