So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize
