I couldn't remember if it was hamsters or Iraq that you hated. I'm so sorry.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Please come quick there are people in suits here judging me
Ways to ruin a one night stand: the guy finds your parenting magazine on your dorm room desk.
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
I realize ur driving andwont read this til u stop, but I'm sleeping in the bed of the pickup. Please don't hit a deer.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
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