We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize