We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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