brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
This is the prime rib incident all over again
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Did you see the video of me eating a marshmellow on fire?
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
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