you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
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