Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
chugging beers on the train. people are staring. I would be offended if it wasn't 8:30
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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