I need hand sanitizer and jesus.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
Was that picture taken before or after I supposedly punched him in the face?
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
Randomize
