and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
Also, I wish we had magnetic nipple rings and our boobs stuck together.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
