4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
i will never coherently bang her
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Went to work in the same clothes from last night, completely covered in glitter...I didn't choose the hag life, the hag life chose me
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
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