I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
This is a test of Andrews drunk texting, had this been an actual drunk text, all the words would be spelled incorrectly and would be missing key verbs and nouns, followed by a request to not get fired.
I just ate a dove chocolate and the wrapper said "chocolate: always your valentine" WHAT KIND OF JACKASS WRITES THESE AND WHY MUST THEY MOCK ME?
I'm so hungover I literally am considering drinking from the fishtank to avoid getting out of bed.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
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