just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
Randomize
