His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
