I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Randomize
