What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
been sitting in chapter for 25 minutes. drinking last night's franzia out of a XXX vitamin water 10 bottle. recruitment chair has no idea. life is good.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
i can't, i'm blowing bubbles in class and getting credit for it
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Do I need to call and sing lullabies? Because that's creepy, but I'm a really good friend.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
Randomize
