So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
My dick hurts from so many people grabbing it last night. We're not going back to that club
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
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