It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize