I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize