I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
Just drove past the dude that came in your sock
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in the bathroom at work, pooing while eating pretzels. Hungover Fridays are in full effect
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
Randomize