she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
I just caught your son trying to perform fellatio on himself. What do I do?
Randomize