Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Randomize
