Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I was on hold waiting for customer service at verizon so we obviously we had enough time to have sex, i just put the phone on speaker
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
Randomize
