dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
well on the bright side, he charges $60 for an eighth
so he'll probably take me somewhere nice
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
if girls can go out in miniskirts and reveal their thongs, I should be able to wear a sheer dress with boyshorts with the word love bedazzled on my ass.
This is why you're my favorite.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
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