who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Randomize