four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Ah shit... I sleep-ate chocolate pudding again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
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