i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
I just walked past a guy banging a chick in the back of his car.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
