Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
