Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
Concert was great. Tackled the lead singer. Met him afterwards. He was cool about it.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
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