I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
You threw a bottle at the bartender and then stole his tip jar. However, you were quickly KO'd by the bartender. Solid right hook.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
