So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
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i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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