am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
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