So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
