Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I thought stuff was gonna go really bad after he filled the super-soaker with kerosene. but it all turned out pretty well.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I met her parents last night. Her dad smelled like weed and kept yelling "I HAVE ALLERGIES AHHH MY EYES ARE BURNING!" During dinner It had to be good weed he didn't even know he was yelling.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I was mad at him...then I jerked off. Now I'm over it. Orgasms fix everything, I swear.
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