I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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